Saddest form of escape

When I find myself stuck in the wrong story, I still try to make things work with the people I’m surrounded with. I still try to close the gap and break the walls that separate me from them. I still try to patch the holes in our broken relationships.But sometimes, I reach a point when I grow tired of trying to seal what’s broken. 



I grow tired of being frustrated, angry, and upset.When things get out of control, the easiest alternative I see is to leave and walk away. Because I don’t see the point in repairing a bond that is slowly sinking. I don’t see the reason to stay when every day my feelings are getting hurt. I don’t see why I should not quit, and start somewhere else.In the process of walking away, I tend to hurt people, too. I act like their feelings don’t matter to me. 




I act like they deserve to be in pain as well. I act like all along I am the victim, and everyone else is the villain.Eventually I realize I’m wrong, and selfish. And I apologize.I apologize to everyone I left behind. I apologize to everyone I offended, and wounded.I am sorry for saying what was on my mind without considering whether my argument would make someone go home with a swelling heart. I am sorry for letting down everyone who believed in my potentials. I am sorry that I still chose to leave.
I am sorry.